Are you a caregiver for someone with an eating disorder & over the age of 18?

As part of my Master’s degree thesis, I am looking into:

‘The impact of positive reappraisal coping on the wellbeing of caregivers of those with an eating disorder’
The survey is completely confidential and anonymous. To participate in this research study you must be over the age of 18 and must consider yourself as a carer for someone who has an eating disorder, whether you are a family member, partner or friend.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DTNRYL5

Please clink on the link above to take part.

Any questions please do not hesitate to contact me:

21148538@students.southwales.ac.uk

Thank you so much for your time.

 

2017-05-27 (2)

Advertisements

Postulating Love

Some people are so scared of love, as if they have no idea what it’s really about. I think everyone has their own definition of what love is. 

But I think some people create a fake definition, so they think they fee love they think they know what it is.

Quotes like

If you’re not obsessed with someone then why are you with them?! 

Well do you have to be obsessed? Do you sacrifice your life for theirs, do everything that accomplishes their dreams whilst you leave yours by the way side? 

I’m sure we all feel that we have sacrificed  for the people we ‘loved’ in the past. Felt like after all you’ve done for them, they can still be that asshole and leave you behind, you become second. 

I mean maybe this is a bit extreme, maybe you can mutually be ‘obsessed’ with one another that you both make small sacrifices to help each other reach your combined dream. 

Or is that just being a decent human being? Not obsessed. 

I don’t feel you have to be obsessed with someone in order to be with them, let alone love them. 

Some people are very involved in their relationships to the point that their personality disappears, and becomes blank, that the only thing going on in their life is their partner. Myself? I would hate that, probably one of my biggest fears, losing who I am to someone else. Maybe I’m too cynical, and this is the sweetest, most adorable thing ever! Why shouldn’t this person, who has found their soul mate, not celebrate it and share it with you? 

Maybe I’m too scared that I’ll lose my independence, having to check if I can do something, make sure their okay, be responsible for someone else’s happiness. 

Maybe I’m just in a really good place in my life that I’m focusing on myself, being responsible for my own happiness and not waiting for someone else to create my happiness for me. 

There is still the innate feeling in me that I want to share that part of me with someone else, have someone to care about, to feel that feeling of love again. 

But I feel that I’m waiting until I know, I feel that’s it’s so right and I’m sure he’s the one. Or is that a little hopeless romantic? Thinking theirs going to be a Hollywood moment where we run into each other as part of a sickly rom com… kinda do want that to happen, think everyone does deep down. 

I am just going to take it as it comes and not expect too much or too little. I’m sure I’ll know it when I feel it and finally stop second guessing myself and feeling that I deserve something better all the time. Removing myself off this ridiculously high pedestal that I’ve put myself on, using it as a protection, a defence, so I don’t get hurt or disappoint someone. 

13 reasons why it’s not your fault

I do not think, to an extent, that 13 reasons why romanticises and glamorises suicide.

It is as if as soon as the subject of mental health, suicide, is brought to the public’s attention, no one wants to talk about it. Everyone is quick to point the finger at a girl who took her own life, shes being a bitch, like how dare she ruin someones life like that. The reason for that reaction… well I think sometimes you see yourself in one of those characters that Hannah Baker mentions and that scares us..

So, instead of taking blame for our actions we turn it, say that it is making the topic of suicide glamorous. If you strip everything done to the bone, you see the pain that the suicide passed on, you see how many people it affected. None realising the consequences of their actions.

All thinking “omg.. i would never do that to someone else? could you?”… “uh why did she react like that, haha omg that is something jane would do…”

Yeah, because it is not your fault, and you can name 12 other reasons why you are such a good person and supportive and you have your bff…. yup everyone else is with you…. no one can think of one reason why they would have anything to do with someones else suffering.

It is a natural instinct to protect yourself and not take blame, as that will only damage our own ego. Most of us can take stuff in our stride, others cannot. Everyone is different.

I think the people who chose to say that it had made suicide a ‘good’ things is BS. I’m sorry but it makes me feel that they have no idea of the extent of the pain it takes to get to that moment, or the fact that cannot fathom the thought of death, let alone taking their own life when they have so much to live for.

This is, of course, no fault of their own. They are entitled to that opinion, as I, am entitled to mine.

Another reason that this programme is bringing up issues, is that people are talking more about mental health, more about what signs to look for. Which is great. But no for the government, as all of a sudden depression rates in adolescence will increase, not because people are faking it, but more people are becoming aware of their own feelings and aren’t embarrassed to have these feelings.

When I was a young adolescent even till I was 20, depression was a taboo word. No one ever really spoke about it, I used to think it was a horrible nasty, aggressive and relentless, tbh i couldn’t fathom the actual idea of depression, as I had no idea what it actually meant.. Now, I understand, I have empathy for those who have depression. I cannot judge as I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

We as a society should consider shit before pointing the finger because its the easiest option, the option that will make us good human beings.

If you feel you may be responsible, or may have affected someone negatively, don’t look back at that moment, instead, you do something nice and good for someone else. Start a positive chain of events and realise the impact you can have on someone’s day, year, life.