Some people are so scared of love, as if they have no idea what it’s really about. I think everyone has their own definition of what love is.
But I think some people create a fake definition, so they think they fee love they think they know what it is.
If you’re not obsessed with someone then why are you with them?!
Well do you have to be obsessed? Do you sacrifice your life for theirs, do everything that accomplishes their dreams whilst you leave yours by the way side?
I’m sure we all feel that we have sacrificed for the people we ‘loved’ in the past. Felt like after all you’ve done for them, they can still be that asshole and leave you behind, you become second.
I mean maybe this is a bit extreme, maybe you can mutually be ‘obsessed’ with one another that you both make small sacrifices to help each other reach your combined dream.
Or is that just being a decent human being? Not obsessed.
I don’t feel you have to be obsessed with someone in order to be with them, let alone love them.
Some people are very involved in their relationships to the point that their personality disappears, and becomes blank, that the only thing going on in their life is their partner. Myself? I would hate that, probably one of my biggest fears, losing who I am to someone else. Maybe I’m too cynical, and this is the sweetest, most adorable thing ever! Why shouldn’t this person, who has found their soul mate, not celebrate it and share it with you?
Maybe I’m too scared that I’ll lose my independence, having to check if I can do something, make sure their okay, be responsible for someone else’s happiness.
Maybe I’m just in a really good place in my life that I’m focusing on myself, being responsible for my own happiness and not waiting for someone else to create my happiness for me.
There is still the innate feeling in me that I want to share that part of me with someone else, have someone to care about, to feel that feeling of love again.
But I feel that I’m waiting until I know, I feel that’s it’s so right and I’m sure he’s the one. Or is that a little hopeless romantic? Thinking theirs going to be a Hollywood moment where we run into each other as part of a sickly rom com… kinda do want that to happen, think everyone does deep down.
I am just going to take it as it comes and not expect too much or too little. I’m sure I’ll know it when I feel it and finally stop second guessing myself and feeling that I deserve something better all the time. Removing myself off this ridiculously high pedestal that I’ve put myself on, using it as a protection, a defence, so I don’t get hurt or disappoint someone.