Are you a caregiver for someone with an eating disorder & over the age of 18?

As part of my Master’s degree thesis, I am looking into:

‘The impact of positive reappraisal coping on the wellbeing of caregivers of those with an eating disorder’
The survey is completely confidential and anonymous. To participate in this research study you must be over the age of 18 and must consider yourself as a carer for someone who has an eating disorder, whether you are a family member, partner or friend.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DTNRYL5

Please clink on the link above to take part.

Any questions please do not hesitate to contact me:

21148538@students.southwales.ac.uk

Thank you so much for your time.

 

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13 reasons why it’s not your fault

I do not think, to an extent, that 13 reasons why romanticises and glamorises suicide.

It is as if as soon as the subject of mental health, suicide, is brought to the public’s attention, no one wants to talk about it. Everyone is quick to point the finger at a girl who took her own life, shes being a bitch, like how dare she ruin someones life like that. The reason for that reaction… well I think sometimes you see yourself in one of those characters that Hannah Baker mentions and that scares us..

So, instead of taking blame for our actions we turn it, say that it is making the topic of suicide glamorous. If you strip everything done to the bone, you see the pain that the suicide passed on, you see how many people it affected. None realising the consequences of their actions.

All thinking “omg.. i would never do that to someone else? could you?”… “uh why did she react like that, haha omg that is something jane would do…”

Yeah, because it is not your fault, and you can name 12 other reasons why you are such a good person and supportive and you have your bff…. yup everyone else is with you…. no one can think of one reason why they would have anything to do with someones else suffering.

It is a natural instinct to protect yourself and not take blame, as that will only damage our own ego. Most of us can take stuff in our stride, others cannot. Everyone is different.

I think the people who chose to say that it had made suicide a ‘good’ things is BS. I’m sorry but it makes me feel that they have no idea of the extent of the pain it takes to get to that moment, or the fact that cannot fathom the thought of death, let alone taking their own life when they have so much to live for.

This is, of course, no fault of their own. They are entitled to that opinion, as I, am entitled to mine.

Another reason that this programme is bringing up issues, is that people are talking more about mental health, more about what signs to look for. Which is great. But no for the government, as all of a sudden depression rates in adolescence will increase, not because people are faking it, but more people are becoming aware of their own feelings and aren’t embarrassed to have these feelings.

When I was a young adolescent even till I was 20, depression was a taboo word. No one ever really spoke about it, I used to think it was a horrible nasty, aggressive and relentless, tbh i couldn’t fathom the actual idea of depression, as I had no idea what it actually meant.. Now, I understand, I have empathy for those who have depression. I cannot judge as I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

We as a society should consider shit before pointing the finger because its the easiest option, the option that will make us good human beings.

If you feel you may be responsible, or may have affected someone negatively, don’t look back at that moment, instead, you do something nice and good for someone else. Start a positive chain of events and realise the impact you can have on someone’s day, year, life.

Open Blog: Your Story

I have had a few messages about how I started writing my blogs and people reaching out telling me they appreciate the subjects I write about and how they would love to write a blog but just don’t have the time to maintain one, or maybe challenge yourself to share your story, to tell people about your experiences.

Well here is your opportunity. I am looking for people who want to share their story, whatever that may be, a letter to a friend, a heartbreaking experience, an insight into a day in your life, a proud moment you want to share… anything. I will post it on my blog site anonymously or with your name, it is up to you.

I will only post a selective few (depending on how many people reach out).

Get your story out there, be heard, feel like you have expressed yourself, you never know it may just motivate you to start your own blog or to share your story to others in real life. Your story is important.

Feel free to contact me over Facebook, Twitter or  Email: madfreckles1@gmail.com

Am I Really Ready For A Masters Degree?

I have been on a roller coaster of emotions with the build up towards my masters degree. I am so anxious that I am not ready, not clever enough, not organised enough for a masters. I mean it is a MASTERS after all. It is difficult for me to find a job after my undergraduate degree, I dislike doing work that doesn’t feed into my goal career, so doing a masters now so that I am more qualified for a job I want.

I only have one shot at this whole masters thing, one loan from the government, if i crash and land straight on my face and fail this whole thing, it will take me years to save up all the money to try again. I just hope to god that I can do it. I feel that I can, but I am so panic stricken that I am fearful that I can’t. I have my books ready, I have accommodation, I have funding, I have all the necessities ready, but am I myself truly ready?

I have just received some placement and dissertation projects from the university through the post, after looking through it I am so excited to start! I cannot wait, I am trying to motivate myself to do some extra reading around the subject etc and I will. I tomorrow. Well, we all know tomorrow never comes.

I have done reading about motivation and how to not get stressed, research suggests, grouping your list into chunks and minimising it into chunks of 5 +-2. So maximum amount is 7 minimum amount is 3. I can deal with that. So I minimised everything down into chunks and focused on the purpose of why I am doing it. Apparently if you focus on the purpose rather than the activity itself, you are more likely to succeed and feel better about actually doing it because you are aware of the purpose.

So, what is the purpose? Well, to succeed obviously, to do well, to learn and be happy and get a good job. How can I achieve this? By doing some simple reading, a chapter a day. I am pretty sure I can handle that.

Anxiety can take over and be a bit of a bitch to handle, it can consume you to the point of paralysis. I can beat it and I will beat it. I will succeed at my masters and I will be happy and organised when doing it. I mean it cannot be impossible. So wish me luck, I am sure I will be posting about my stressful days with you!

What’s Grad Life Really Like

 

I don’t know what exactly I expected after finishing my degree, I guess I thought a whole world of new opportunities that I could easily grasp, and why not? I do have a degree after all. Filled with confidence as I now have a higher educational qualification I decide it is time to enter the real world of full time employment and start applying for jobs. Application after application, I was met with rejection after rejection. Turns out I do not have enough real-world experience, not just that I do not have 6 months experience within a specific setting. Confidence not yet knocked, I aim to gain as much experience as possible.

I apply for volunteering roles and other roles such as support work, health care support work, bank staff work. Again, I do not have enough experience. Now this begins to get frustrating. How on earth can I gain experience when I do not have experience to gain experience? It is a struggle and a battle. But during this struggle I continue to earn a minimum wage in a part time job. This means I can no longer afford to live in a rented house. After three years of freedom, living away from the parents, a taste of true independence it comes to an end. I have to move back in with my parents.

Think this story is similar for many other graduates, my friend has been a graduate for almost a year now, and being the first to graduate out of our friends, I think she struggled with knowing what to do. But she told me, go and get experience as soon as possible and stay positive. She has chosen to pursue a masters as she has not been able to get any experience. She studied human biology and wants to cut up dead bodies for a living, so getting experience in that has to be hard, almost impossible right? I have a lot of admiration for her, as she has emailed around twenty funeral homes and twenty hospitals looking for experience. Her efforts paid off and she was allowed one day within a funeral home embalming bodies. One day after contacting 40 establishments. Better than nothing. But this just shows how difficult grad life can be.

It isn’t the end of the world moving in with your parents but they expect you to be earning now. Expect you to do more than is actually achievable, this creates a hostile environment which is frustrating for both parties.  The world is not full of opportunities anymore, there is only a few options available to a post grad. One either has to obtain a part time job whilst volunteering to gain experience, or obtain a full time job in hope that it is within the domain of your degree (unlikely, unless your super lucky and blessed), or return to education and grab yourself a masters.

After being in education for many many years, doing another year may seem daunting. Plus, I kind of just want to be employed and earn money and feel like a true adult.  The first few months after graduating are exhausting, stressful and emotionally draining. My only advice is to be resilient, stay positive and confident, it can only get better right?

This is going to be my last summer as a care-free fresh graduate. I am going to spend it drinking, seeing my friends and trying to gain as much experience as possible by volunteering. I hope my last student loan can last me through the summer, I mean that’s what it is there for right?

I guess the moral of the story is stay persistent and confident. If anyone has advice for someone who has recently finished their degree I am open to suggestions.